Stack Ranking Star Wars

Stack ranking things is mostly a dumb exercise. It’s incredibly reductive and does next to nothing to help you actually understand things. In some cases, it can be actually destructive. And yet… sometimes… it can be just some silly fun. So this is not to be taken at all seriously, at least two of these move around for me depending on my mood, and if you’ve got different ideas that’s awesome.

So: let’s stack rank the Star Wars theatrical releases.

TL;DR:

This has some mild-to-moderate spoilers in it, so if you just want the ranking:

If you’re looking for watch order, I suggest an Expanded Machete Order:

What are we doing here?

These are the theatrical releases only (I’ve got another list for the various series). I’m talking Episodes 1-9 plus Solo and Rogue One. I’m also not touching things like the holiday special. But I’d probably put Caravan of Courage above Episode I, if you’re really asking.

The Ranking

Episode 6

I think Episode 6 is the most underrated of the Star Wars movies, and it’s my favorite.

This is the first time we really see a Jedi in the Star Wars saga. Luke is young, inexperienced, and brash, but he’s also not decades (or centuries!) past his prime. The rescue from Jabba is the best Jedi action of the original trilogy, and the confrontation with Vader and the Emperor is the best “Jedi as monk” sequence of the series.

Leia’s dispatch of Jabba. C'mon.

We get to see all the major relationships resolve in meaningful, satisfying ways (except maybe Leia not really getting a goodbye with her father). We get closure on the series and all the character arcs we care about.

Episode 6 gets even better when you watch the series in Machete Order (which I highly recommend you do, adding Episodes 7-9 at the end). In that viewing, you watch Anakin Skywalker fall to the dark side by making a bunch of choices to try to protect people he cares about… just as Luke is doing, ignoring his training. And the first thing we see Luke do? Force choke someone, which we’d only seen Vader do until that point.

Yes, George Lucas wanted to sell Ewok toys. They’re cute, get over it. Star Wars doesn’t always need to take itself too seriously, and they work well in the story without doing any harm. Cute is okay.

Episode 5

“Luminous beings are we, not this crude matter.” — Yoda

Episode V is where Star Wars really becomes Star Wars. It starts after the big victory at the end of Episode IV, with the Empire having taking a big hit but certainly not out, and ends with the heroes scattered and on the run. Yoda and the training sequence… and Luke’s decision to leave, a theme we’d see revisited a few other times in the series. A lot of serious Star Wars fans (and especially too serious Star Wars fans, but not only them) think Episode 5 is the best of the original trilogy, and while I don’t agree, it’s got a solid argument. Lando is a great character, and the whole sequence on Bespin is very well done.

I do think the one bad thing Episode 5 did for the franchise is give us this idea that the Rebels always need to be the Rebels to be a good story. It’d be okay for the Republic to stand on its own for a while later on, but I think too many people saw Episode 5’s “reset” and grabbed onto that too hard.

Episode 4

This still works remarkably well as both a free-standing movie and as the start of this massive franchise. There’s a reason (even if not in-universe) we keep coming back to Tatooine.

The movie gives us enough backstory to make the galaxy feel bigger than the movie without making things feel force-fed. The Galactic Senate’s been disolved! That sounds bad… but what’s a Galactic Senate? How can he do that? What were the clone wars? We don’t need it spelled out, it’s enough that the characters understand, and we understand their reactions. You can go through Episode IV and say “okay, this is the 30 seconds that Rogue One came from… here’s the 2 lines that spawned Episode II…”

Episode 4 is hurt a little by the fact that it wasn’t sure it was going to get to be the start of a trilogy (or more!), so it probably closed off or left unexplored more than it otherwise would have. That — and the whiny Luke — are what put this below Episode 5 (most days) for me.

Episode 8

This is easily the best of the third trilogy, and when I’m in the right mood I could see bumping it above Episodes IV & V.

We get to see the continued development of the strongest set of characters and relationships in the entire Star Wars universe (yes, really), while expanding their connections to the world around them and adding in more great characters (❤️ Rose).

Luke’s entire arc in this is great. I don’t love the backstory between him and Kylo Ren (it feels like something’s missing to get Luke to that point), but everything else progresses perfectly. His non-training of Rey, her reaction and experiences as a result, and his reaction to that all manage to be surprising, but in ways that feel true to the characters they’ve created (the above note notwithstanding). And his eventual confrontation with Kylo Ren and his death: perfect.

When this movie came out, it pissed off a lot of fanboys. A lot was written about the parallels between their reaction and Kylo Ren — with Rian Johnson sort of casting the fanboys as the villain — and I think it was pretty spot on. Johnson wasn’t afraid to do something new with the material, and it worked out really well for it.

Episode 7

Episode 7 rests on the strength of the main 4 characters and their relationships with each other. They’re nearly flawless; well-written, well-directed, and very well acted. Rey’s arc, both within this film and across the third trilogy, is at least as good as Luke’s, and I’d argue better. The way her story remixes Luke’s family issues — obviously distinct, but still a clear through-line — works really well, and the way Kylo Ren plays off of them doesn’t have any parallel in the first trilogy.

The reason it’s not higher up on the list is how much of the plotting is lazy and mechanistic. We needed yet another, even bigger Death Star? Are you sure? And the way the initial attack effectively, apparently, obliterates the entire New Republic just felt like the filmmakers didn’t know how to write a Star Wars story if they couldn’t copy the original trilogy’s “scrappy isolated rebels against an overpowered juggernaut” framework.

Callbacks are one thing, but too much of this film felt like someone responsible for plotting was doing mediocre derivative fanfic.

Episode 9

“Somehow, Palpatine has returned.” — Poe

Even though I really enjoyed this film, it made me sort of sad. It was too apparent that Abrams was afraid of his fans — and particular fans. He walked back a lot of what was great about Episode 8, while turning up my “derivative fanfic” complaint about Episode 7 up to 11. How, J.J.? How did the Emperor return? Even just a nod at an explanation would’ve helped. Oscar Isaac looked like he couldn’t get himself to buy it as he was delivering the line. And he built the biggest fleet anyone’s ever seen, without anyone noticing? That didn’t happen after the destruction in Episode 7. And Snoke was… what, now? It’s just weak and lazy; it doesn’t take its obligation to the audience seriously.

Making Rey “nobody” in Episode 8 was brilliant, and the perfect antidote to mitichlorians, without even having to address it… and then Abrams chickened out. And where’d Rose go? I get the in-universe explanation that she’s helping Leia, but that’s a storytelling choice, and a pretty transparent one, given the real-world context. Not to mention needing to give Finn a “more appropriate” counterpart. :-(

Also, the pacing for the first half hour is really off. It feels as though Abrams is trying to cram in all the things he wished Episode 8 had set up for him. It gets better after that, but it sure starts off rough. Some days that bumps this below Rouge 1 for me (which is much more even overall).

And yet… the strength of the four main characters still carries it enough to make it a good film. Rey’s arc really is great, even with Abrams' discarding of the best reveal from Episode 8. In fact, I choose to read the very end as Rey herself rejecting Abrams re-imposition of her heritage. Kylo Ren’s redemption arc is compelling… much more so than Darth Vader’s. We get to see not just a moment of clarity, but him doing a lot of work to earn it (with a nice sendoff for Han Solo). And the “dyad in the Force” thing — especially the lightsaber trick — was really interesting. Really fun.

This was good, but would’ve been so much better if Rian Johnson had gotten to direct it, or if J. J. Abrams was less afraid of making a bunch of fanboys angry.

Rogue One

“I am one with the Force,
the Force is with me.” — Chirrut

Rogue One sits at the border of “very good” and “pretty good” Star Wars movies. It was the first time the franchise really filled in any of the backstory and references from the original films in a way that really made sense, while also expanding the breadth of the universe and giving us some great characters. And stakes. From a filmmaking sense, the end of this film is sort of a tidy answer to how to do a prequel with characters we don’t hear about later, but just watching it, the experience of emotional investment makes their sacrifice feel more meaningful. I particularly like the effect of making the universe and the war feel so much bigger than the one character tree we’ve known up until now, and accomplishing that so early in the “modern” Star Wars age.

Also, the second time I saw this in a theater was just after Carrie Fisher died, and this became the only Star Wars movie I’ve cried during.

Episode 2

Episode II both does most of the good work the prequels do (so what were the Clone Wars?), including setting up Episode III well, and most of the relationship work between Anakin and Obi-Wan, and it does those things pretty well. Mediocre performance aside, we see Anakin’s developing emotional torment, over some very reasonable trauma and emotional developmental issues. The material with the Jedi Council, Senate, and Palpatine has a lot of weak points, but there’s enough going on here to redeem it. And, like all of the prequel trilogy, it’s visually beautiful (in a very “shiny” sort of way).

Episode 3

I initially had Episode II and III as a tie, but the point of stack ranking is making the hard choices, right? Overall, I mostly feel the same way about this one as I do about Episode III, but this one gets a few extra demerits for the handling of how the Jedi went into hiding. It would’ve been more compelling if we’d seen something about the Inquisitors or some such, but as it stands it seems like they just gave up after one particularly awful day.

Solo

Han: “I heard a story about you. I was wondering if it’s true.”
Lando: “Everything you’ve heard about me is true.”

This movie is a bit of a mess, largely because it simultaneously tries to tie up too much from Han Solo’s history (we don’t need every reference or mystery from his backstory resolved in one go) while also leaving too much of its own story unresolved.

But even so, it’s fun. It does a serviceable job at what it’s aiming to do, it nails the great “dirty future” look most of Star Wars does so well, and it doesn’t break anything. The young Lando is perfect.

When I think of this list more as freestanding sci-fi action movies rather than Star Wars movies per se I often want to bump this up above Episodes II and III, but as a Star Wars movie it’s largely superfluous (but, again: fun).

When do we get our Lando movie?

Episode 1

There was a lot of really good stuff in here, especially visually. And especially coming off the original series, seeing this world with relatively modern CGI and production values was wonderful. Naboo was pretty nicely developed.

But there’s just too much wrong with it.

Jar Jar Binks is the obvious whipping boy, but for me the chief sin was reducing the Force to a blood infection. I have a lot of criticisms, but the midichlorians alone justify simply removing this movie from canon, not to mention the “immaculate conception” that went with it. For a long time I wanted the later films to explicitly refute this, call it some fringe theory or such, but now I think it’s best to just ignore it. There was no Episode I.

Of all the theatrical releases, this is the only one I don’t think is actually a good movie, and it should be the last one watched, for completionists only.

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